Remembering Mom on her Birthday

I have so many thoughts and emotions swirling through my head and heart today. Today is what would have been my mom’s 60th birthday!

For those of you who are new to my blog, my mom passed away when I was 8 years old from breast cancer. She was only 32 when she was first diagnosed. This year has been particularly hard for me because I am now 32. My son is the same age I was when my mom was diagnosed. It is hard to imagine what she must have gone through. Now that I am a mom myself, I can not even begin to imagine what that would have been like. And the thought of it terrifies me.

My Mom and I

I guess what amazes me even more than the fact that she got breast cancer, was her upbeat attitude about it. I know I have a skewed perception of what she was going through since I was only a child, but if I remember nothing else, I remember her always being there for me. And even going above and beyond in so many ways. She sewed clothes for me and my dolls. She was my Brownie Troop leader, she attended my brother’s sporting events. If it were me, I don’t know that I would have even been able to get out of bed.

My Mom in high school

On anniversaries like this, I often find myself playing the “what if” game. I know it doesn’t get me anywhere and it is hardly productive, but it is hard not to. What would my life be like if she hadn’t died when I was so young? Would I live in Arizona? Would I have chosen a different career path? Would we be best friends? Would I be a better seamstress? Would I know how to crotchet and knit? Would we have had a falling out in my teen years as so many kids and their parents do?

My Mom with me and my two brothers

Would I be a different person? Obviously the answer is yes and no. I would be a completely different person than I am now, and I would also be the same. These are the thoughts that go through my head. Are they logical? Probably not.

I was talking with my husband today about it being my mom’s birthday. My son (age 5) overheard our conversation. Here is what he said,

     Thomas: “Did your mommy die?”
     Me: “Yes.”
     Thomas: “But today is her birthday?”
     Me: “Yes.”
     Thomas: “Are we going to celebrate it?”
     Me: “No, we aren’t.”
    Thomas: “But every year when someone has a birthday they grow and grow.”


How do you respond to that? It breaks my heart each and every day my children have never met my mom. And there are fleeting moments, when I will look at my son or daughter and see my mom’s face staring back at me. I try to make it a point to talk about my mom to my kids, but I hardly knew her myself.

Favorite picture of my Mom with her brothers
She looks so happy!

I miss my mom. I wish I could give her a hug. I wish she could come over and take care of me when I am sick. I wish she could hug and hold her grandchildren. I wish she could have met my husband and seen me get married. I wish I could have her over for a weekly dinner. I wish so many things.

But most of all, I wish my mom a Happy Birthday up in heaven! I know she is smiling down on my brothers and I right now.

I love you, Mom.

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About Laura Silva

Laura's Crafty Life is a craft blog that was created to share my love of crafting and to hopefully inspire you to get out there and craft! You will find DIY projects, scrapbooking, jewelry making, sewing, and party planning ideas. http://www.laurascraftylife.com
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4 Responses to Remembering Mom on her Birthday

  1. I came across your Blog after doing a search , trying to find something to help me write a small blurb on my Facebook page regarding “Remembering my mom on her Birthday”. Our mom passed away 14 years ago this coming June . I saw what you wrote regarding your mom and it touched my heart. I realized one does not need something fancy to write about your mom. The most beautiful things to say about her are already in my heart,just like yours was. THANK YOU for writing this and sharing it. Sometimes it helps to know we are not alone;)

    On a brighter note I now will be following your
    blog;)Take Care and God Bless You Always

    Karen Crabtree

    • Karen – Thank you so much for your kind words. It definitely helps to know we are not alone. Even though my mom passed away when I was so young and so many years ago, I still think of her every day. I don’t think there is any “wrong” way to remember a loved one that has passed. Just say what is in your heart. Thank you again for stopping by! xoxo, Laura

  2. Anonymous says:

    You captured the meaningful “points” of growing up and older without a parent. I lost my Dad when I was 10 and there have been so many moments I wish he had been here for. I too had a difficult time in the year I turned 40, (his age of death). I never realized how much of life he had missed until I went beyond that point. Thank you for putting it down in words and honoring your mother on her birthday, I believe I’ll do the same for Dad from here on out.

    • Thank you for stopping by my blog and your nice comments. It is so hard for so many reasons to lose a parent at any age. I used to always get my mom a card on her birthday and write her a message, but I stopped doing it. It may be something I have to start up again! Again, thank you! xoxo Laura

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